i love kidnapped on a building site by kate bush, i don't know if its my favourite demo because i love so many but i love it so annoyingly much, that "all away" vocal gets really stuck up in there in your brain. anyway, heres my extra little secret blog thought:

 oo                                                                                  oo
 ||o_|_  ,      _  |)   _,          _|_  _     |)   _     _,     |)    _, _|_  _  ,_ ||
   | |  / \_   / \_|/) / |  |  |     |  / \_   |/\_|/    / |     |/\  / |  |  |/ /  |  
   |/|_/ \/    \_/ | \/\/|_/ \/|/    |_/\_/     \/ |_/   \/|_/   |  |/\/|_/|_/|_/   |/ 
                              (|                                                       

and by this i mean, if it makes life a little bit easier to think about the ways others lives make it harder for them, i think that's okay. i've been going to bed doing the same thing to be honest. i think it's okay to feel better about yourself when they have hurt you but ONLY if you are coming from a place of understanding because sure, someone may self sabotage and suppress their emotions and hurt you in the process, but assuring yourself that they will get their natural consequences and it's coming to them and that all you have to do is keep going on your journey processing your emotions and being cool and authentic, is very healing. i like to lay in my bed with a huge smile on my face knowing that everything works out for me and i won't be forgotten and this is exactly where i want to be. it's also okay to remember the nice time's aswell but also remember the times when they were unreliable and a cunt. also understand that those behaviours also had a reason but do not excuse it. forgive, understand, approach from empathy, but don't let them get a free "i get to be a cunt" pass.

also was listening to this book this morning on the internet archive. it's called physics for poets. i' gonna write something on it for the writings page.