apparently i don't know who i am and i don't know the truth

sometimes living gets difficult and you have to stand up 
for yourself...

wow... not a good day. little tip: if you are going to yell at someone atleast get your points straight. somehow i'm an adult until i say i'm an adult and then i'm not because i have teddy bears and have dinner at home? also apprently i am a broken girl... such a cool identity. anyway i have a short little amount to say today, i had more but my day has been derailed. i saw my friends yesterday and it was more subdued than it used to be at college which made me a bit sad. i know that they are subdued people, but i seem to remember collge as being different. more lively. i also think i was equally as low at that time as it was exams so i was also a pretty subdued person but now that i'm excited for my life it feels mismatched... it might be because we are a trio because usually one on one they get a bit wilder and silly-er with me. it might just be a personal perception though... or maybe i'm just the life of the party B)... i jest, i'm just a little sad right now. but i also saw my bestie the other night, we went on a night walk to watch the trains pass by the river. we were watching the birds and bats fly about because they have different flight rhythms and it was cool. it got cold as we walked back and i had two hoodies on so i didn't suffer much hypothermia. i love my bestie, she restores life to me, i wish everyone was like her. idk man i'm just feeling a bit low today, i don't feel like it's a setback in the progress that i have made or that i need my ex to console me because i feel pretty able to process my emotions right now but i wish things were different for me, and they will be in time but why do i have to put up with it now... show me the bigger picture and that it's all worth it.

goodbye for now, india xox