just embarassed myself in class by being an IDIOT

i couldn't figure out my grades ans was panicking but
i was doing shit and then now better?

in a seminar right now on my favourite book and i am not taking notes because the book is my favourite and i love it so i'm writing a blog post... i was trying to look for my grades and i was panicking in class and apparently whispering loudly and the lecturer asked me what was wrong and i had to say in class that i was too stupid to figure out that i had to use a different website to see them... people were helpful to me though... we are talking about the woman warrior by maxine hong kingston which has been my favourite book since college. it's a semi autobigraphical semi folktale amrrative about immagration, assimilation, and interpersonal relationship that really speaks to me for some reason. sometimes i wonder what i would be like and where i would be without the impacts of colonialisation. what language would i speak? what mix would i be? would i have a folk religion? anyway that's a massive bag of worms i don't want to eat. the part that strikes me though is the part where the narrators tongue is cut by her mother for her to speak english better, yet she blames her for limiting her ability to speak chinese. i think we have all had our tongues cut in some way but also learning languages uses different muscles in your mouth so you tire so it's really unfair to blame the mother. another part is the launderette, and how they serve and slave for other people and live in the back of it to survive. they are all and have always hidden. i wish for people to be free, in all ways. i wish i could write more about this book and i will once i read it again and i get my memory back.

yapping, india xox