poetry

published titles:

the rest of these poems are unpublished and unchronological. please don't publish them without me :(

context:

kabuki/noh:

i wrote this after imagining the sound engineer at an older, film based cinema with the big film reels had fucked up and used the wrong audio for this noir film and ended up overlaying a kabuki or noh performance over the top making some really weird superimpositions. i imagine it's sort of a tyler durden fight club kinda thing but safer for work and a genuine accident. the sound engineer is shitting themselves because they cant fix it, the audience is confused as to why some parts sync but others aren't, and why aren't there subtitles? and surely film with attached sound has been invented by now?? (i imagine it's america in the 90's and everyone's impatient and smoking in the cinema on their huge phones thinking about the next episode of sex and the city). anyway, the noir is unsentimental about love in the typical american way and is full of excruciating moments of miscommunication but the japanese overdub lends a tenderness to it in conrast with it's sort of regimented and polite nature. like, the audience don't really know whats going on and it fits and theres music but their american uncuriousity stops them from looking further.

absynthium:

i wrote this when i was 15/16 give me a break... school was hard...

Tigers.

THIS IS MY FAVOURITE POEM I'VE WRITTEN SO FAR!!! i wrote it back in janurary and then forgot about it because the world felt like a waiting room for the end at that point like i was trapped in, with a relationship where i could see the end and almost a deadline to enjoy all of it while i still could. i still love him. i'm just very hurt. but sometimes it's frustrating when people won't let you love them for a number of reason's and you understand but you can't help even though you could because they won't let you. so you write a poem!!

all the people (song)

i wrote this the other day in my room after not writing a good song in a while (since christmas song probably) but i wrote the lyrics in one sitting.

kotekan*

i wrote this about my bestie!!! i love you!!

letter to my lover

possibly my best poem but that's because it's the shortest and doesn't give me time to talk excessively. it's for the man i loved. rarely is love simple but this was, hence it's brevity. i think it's very charles bukowski- no bullshit, late 50's, early 60's, dirty realism, bottom of the beer bottle, joan baez/bob dylan, joni mitchell, vietnam war hippie protest, origional woodstock, whole world to waste, put the whole world to rights, popular culture americana, middle capitalist, expressive modernist -of me. a homage all that homage momentum of past writers that is dead now, like our love. RIP the homage and my love.

soul singer

i wrote this after i had surgery. i was dropped off secretly by my father and i waited in this small area all day with other women. i was sent to another appointment while i waited for a scan in this little dark part of the radiology ward. i was reminded often that i was alone. i was scared. the nurse that did my blood pressure asked if i was okay as i off the charts but looking wildly calm. i was the last to go in. i was guided to the operation room behind the one that i was waiting in and i was terrified to think that the ladies i had met were being chopped up behing me the whole time. one lady wished me goodluck before she went in. i hope she is okay. i remember waking in the sugical theatre and being so scared and trying not to cry as i felt so alone. the ladies were so nice to me asking me what i did and what my favourite book was and what i had studied. i swore when the anastesiologist put the pin in my hand for the drip. then i started to cry... then BOOM i was out. then i woke up and asked why i couldn't see (i had closed my eyes). all is well now, but i do love this poem- a manifestation of my lonelyness as being an accompanment to me, as being company. i am never truly alone.

cathedral light

i wrote this after my first boyfriend broke up with me in october/november 2023. i remember the exact moment i knew it was over. it was when we were in this local cathedral and he was kinda massively into god in the way that young men are- unbindingly. he was bound by no doctrine yet still beleived there was something bigger than him. it was only him and god in his world, no place for me. his rules only which meant to have none. i remember that we had a nice time. he was soft and cheeky, playful even, rebellious. he thought i had a fear of heights ( i don't) and he made me walk over this glass floor to help my fear. we lit candles and he lit three and told me why. i lit one for him or for us. it highlighted to me that i was so close to getting what i wanted but not quite. i did love him. my bestie said that the first heartbreak is always the worst but the next get easier. she was right, but i think thats why i have less empathy for him because i remember how much of a slump i was in.

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pangea

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